After the Fact

COVID

Today I learned that one of our staff members had COVID a few months ago. They quarantined and are fine now. It does not seem as though they passed it to anyone else on staff, luckily. So, it’s all fine in that regard.

The part that bothers me is that I was the only one that didn’t know.

I happened to overhear some other staff members discussing it while I was checking cameras for an incident that occurred earlier in the day.

I stepped into Jeff’s office and asked, “‘Employee’ had COVID?”.

He eventually revealed that, indeed, the employee had had COVID a few months ago. He had opted not to tell me since I was already dealing with a lot of anxiety at that time.

I recall that he has asked me some time ago if I would want to know if an employee had COVID. After some thought, I’d told him yes.

Apparently, the employee had already had COVID at that point. Jeff said he felt awkward after that, but still did not tell me. He also asked our General Manager and our HR person to not inform me.

I understand his reasoning for not telling me. He did it to protect me and not make my anxiety worse. It’s still upsetting.

Similar Situation

It’s upsetting because I had a similar situation happen last March, right before the world went into lockdown for COVID. That time it was my mom and sister that had kept something from me for months.

It was a personal family situation that I won’t go into detail about, but when I was finally told, I felt upset.

I wasn’t necessarily upset with anyone for keeping it from me. I understood the reasoning, once again, my anxiety.

I was more upset with myself and my anxiety. Even though it’s not my fault.

Information

I don’t like finding out I’ve had information kept from me, especially when it is something important. Especially when I’m the only one that doesn’t know.

It kinda feels like my reality is getting messed with. And I feel dumb for not being aware of something.

College

I remember in college, I found out long after the fact that my group of friends had all made fun of me behind my back about wearing a cellphone holder on my belt for the first couple weeks of my Freshman year.

My cell phone holder was smaller and dorkier than this.

To be fair, that is worth making fun of. It’s still obviously hurtful to find out. No one likes to be made fun of.

After the Fact

I like to pretend that people don’t talk about me (aside from good things, of course) when I’m not around. To find out that you were made fun of long after the fact is a weird situation. I was hurt, but…what could I do about it? Nothing.

So, yeah…I’m in a similar position now. I’m not necessarily hurt or upset. I have used those words throughout this post, but neither feels right. I feel weird.

Once again, I have learned information after the fact and there isn’t really anything I can do about it. I can’t even be mad at the people that kept things from me. Well, I can…but I’m not.